Modest Proposal

Modest Proposal: We Need Kim Jung Eun’s Glorious Regime

             What happen to those who are inspired by the greatest revolutionists like Stalin and Castro? South Korean government prosecutes our great revolutionist Lee Seok Ki because he formed a group called “Revolutionary Organization,” which has a plan to change the corrupted South Korean society into the regime of glorious Kim Jung Eun. If he succeeded the revolution, we could be free from the threats of wars because Kim Jung Eun would protect the united Korea with his nuclear and chemical weapons. He can silence all the nations that want to be the leader of the world. I modestly propose that people should accept Kim Jung Eun’s regime. With his great negotiation skill to deal with such countries like Japan and the United States, he can get free food and money while he gives nothing. The idea of “give and take” is nothing for his great negotiation skill. Moreover, according to the America’s finest news source, The Onion, Kim Jung Eun has chosen as the sexiest man alive in 2012. In Pyongyang, the largest trend-setting city of Asia, about 99% of young adults prefer Kim Jung Eun’s hairstyle to be the sexist man of the world. This phenomenon shows a tiny facet of how Kim Jung Eun is supported by a huge amount of people. In North Korea, the supporting percentage of Kim Jung Eun is 100%. This kind of statistics cannot be appeared in any other nations. Now, you can see how great Kim Jung Eun is. We need Kim’s regime to achieve the society without the conflict between citizens and government. 

Modest Proposal

Modest Proposal - Water pollution in Rio de Janeiro

It is reported by The Americas that Rio de Janeiro’s Olympic waterways are still filled with trash and sewage, with time running out before Games. This is so exciting and I knew Brazil would offer us the most special Olympic Games ever! So my proposal is we should keep pouring sewage and throwing household trash into the water to make sure we will have a special waterway for 2016 Olympic Games.

We never had an Olympic Games in a river of trash. In all the past Games, we saw athletes rowing in clear water but I think it is too boring. Water with disposable bottles, plastic bags and even tires will impress us and it will make the aquatics games more challenging and fantastic. You can imagine that all rowing athletes also have to avoid big rubbish while they are rushing to the destination. Besides, we can create more interesting games which we can take good use of the trash river. For example, a game called “The king of collecting dead fish bodies”.

Rio needs something new to welcome people from all over the world when the Games come. People are already tired at the Sugarloaf Mountain and Christ the Redeemer and now an impressive and shocking attraction shows up. It even doesn’t need to wait until Olympic Games and it has already reported in the headlines by a lot of authoritative newspapers in different countries.

Overall, 2016 Olympic Games will be the most wonderful Games ever if we can keep the Olympic waterways filled with trash and sewage. Don’t disappoint us Rio!

Modest Proposal - Satire, Irony, and Sarcasm

YOOJIN OH

Daniel Horvath

COMM 1313W 012

11/21/2013

The modest proposal

 

What a respectable policy ‘Let’s Legalize Marijuana’?!

 

My proposal is that we should not support legalizing marijuana, especially for recreational purpose. Nowadays, many Americans have insisted to legalize marijuana. Legalizing marijuana can reduce crime and it allows police to focus on violent crimes! Legalizing marijuana can even increase revenue for state. What a tempting offers?! Supporters of marijuana legalization claim that legalizing marijuana would greatly reduce the burden of America’s prison system on taxpayers. Their main argument takes a distinctly moral slant. Of course crime figures are decreasing dramatically by legalizing marijuana. However, just the opposite is true. It might seem to decrease because legalizing marijuana means disappearing of marijuana prohibition. For example, if we legalize murder, crime will be decrease because murder is not crime anymore. It is nothing more than just showing off to reduce crime statistic. What nonsense is it? Legalizing marijuana cannot reduce crime, but rather it increase marijuana related crime. Then, claiming that legalizing marijuana will bring numerous revenues makes more sense than claiming that it will reduce crime. They expect to get tremendous revenue through the commercialization of marijuana. Of course, legalization of marijuana is a predictable and great source to get profits to government. However, marijuana is the gateway drug. Extending a marijuana market by legalizing marijuana is the same as playing with fire. Why don’t people, who insist to use the expense for finding missing child instead of maintaining marijuana prohibition, consider what message would legalization of marijuana send our children? It is completely irony.

 

Modest Proposal: Satire, Irony, and Sarcasm

The Worst Idealism

             Nowadays, many South Korean feel a sensation of fear for a contingency of war because of frequent North Korea's provocative attack. However, there are still a lot of people who want to persist with the Sunshine Policy which aimed at supporting the North Korean in order to achieve peaceful unification between North and South Korea. What a beautiful idealism? Do we have to give financial assistance to the North Korean government for peaceful unification? We have been doing this for fifteen years, but what happened? What happened to the $8 billon support fund from the last 15 years? This is perfect irony. We should not forget the Korean War has not ended but it is in abeyance, so North Korea is still our enemy. Who support their enemy? Where does the money go? In South Korea society, the majority of the people are insensitive to the danger associated with North Korea, but the North Korean government is developing enormous weapons against South Korea. There is no ideal socialism anymore in North Korea, so we have got to throw the idealism away for peaceful unification. How childish can North Korea be? They threaten South Korea whenever they need economic aid. The people who try to help North Korea need to understand that the Sunshine Policy has failed since the money for supporting North Korean citizens has been used for nuclear development which is now threatening us. Their blind faith in supporting North Korea for peaceful unification will actually cause the worst situation between the two Koreas.

NIS agents post 1.2 mln tweets to intervene in elections: prosecution

The National Intelligence Service agents posted about 1.2 million Twitter messages for last year's presidential election and general elections, prosecutors said Thursday. The NIS has been investigated that the NIS intervene in presidential election when held last year Dec. 19. A special investigation team of the Seoul Central District Prosecutors' Office showed that the alleged operation was not limited to comments on major Internet bulletin boards but extended to Twitter, with NIS agents allegedly posting and retweeting a total of 1.21 million messages ahead of the general elections and the presidential poll. "Of the 1.21 million tweets made by NIS agents, some 647,000 were about the election, and the other 562,000 were about politics," said a lead investigator. The prosecutors said that the 1.21 million posts were in violation of the election law and other relevant laws that ban NIS agents from intervening in politics.  The investigator said that the original texts were 26,550 tweets and these writings have been tweeted, retweeted and automatically retweeted to add up to some 1.21 million posts.

http://www.koreaherald.com/view.php?ud=20131121000691

Modest Proposal - Air Pollution in China

Modest Proposal

My proposal is that no measures are needed to solve for China’s massive air pollution problem. Air pollution is super common around the world. China is not the only one country who faces pollution problems. So China government does not have to care much and  to take measures to control citizens' behavior. 

Firstly, air pollution in China is not severe. It has not brought too much bad effects. The 1.2 million premature deaths caused by outdoor air pollution in 2010 is not a great number, compared with the overall population of China, which is 1.3 billion. Also, diseases will still come even without air pollution. People are likely to have pneumonia, lung cancer and heart disease as well. 

Secondly, it is impossible to stop everyone from polluting the air, since China is so large in both land scale and population. For example, the restrictions made by the government on road use for private cars with specifically numbered license plates do not matter at all. Restrictions on private cars make people too inconvenient to go to work. Indeed, it makes little contribution to pollution reduction, compared to heavy industrial pollution caused by coal burning of factories, as statistics show that vehicles account for 30% of all air pollution and industrial pollution accounts for 40%.

Overall, China does not have to worry much about the air pollution. People can still drive their own cars instead of taking public transportation. No caps on new coal-fired power plants are needed. We can face masks when go on road. If you feel sick, you can visit the doctor, and then you will be fine. 

Director Zhang Goes “Missing”

This is a piece of news claiming that Yimou Zhang, one of the best-known movie directors in China, could neither be found nor located during the past few days. The ground was that Zhang hid to avoid punishment concerning China's one-child policy from authorities. The warrant was that he had at least seven children and could be liable for a 160 million yuan ($26.3 million) fine! Then the passage backing that Wuxi Municipal Population and Family Planning Commission, a commission of his wife’s hometown, had done everything possible to contact Zhang and his wife. They dispatched a work team that rushed to Beijing to look for Yimou Zhang, and sent many letters to the Beijing Film Group and the Guangxi Film Group trying to contact Zhang, but they could not find the couple at all. A rebuttal of the claim should be that Yimou Zhang is a very accomplished director, who dazzled the world in 2008 with his Beijing Olympic ceremonies. However, the government responded that "No matter who is involved, illegal births will have to be dealt with in accordance with the law." There is only one exception on one-child-policy in China, which is that couples are allowed to have a second child only if one of the couple is an only child.

http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2013-11/21/content_17119771.htm

"Modest Proposal" - Obama Rules

Charlie Pray

Comm-1313W

Instructor D. Horvath

Modest Proposal

My proposal is that we support President Obama; especially in his move to force all Americans to turn their weapons over to our government so that we can fully support the Mexican cartel, the most dangerous community in the world. This is the just one of the great things about our president. He holds a personal relationship with Mexican cartels and is giving them a full stock of American weapons that we have paid for. Instead of keeping our private citizens protected and armed (which was placed in our bill of rights), it’s extremely obvious that it is in our best interest to supply drug lords and gangs with enough weaponry and ammo to start a small civil war. Why didn’t we think of this before?

But for now, lets totally forget about the current gun laws that keep weapons away from felons with background checks. We need to make the laws even more extreme, so that nobody is allowed to have a gun unless you work for the U.S. government. Because odds are you are an American citizen with a perfect shiny clean record, you don’t need a gun for self-protection or recreation; it is bad for your health. And while we are discussing health, Obama should also be implementing a law so that we are not allowed to own spoons or forks to eat because they are the reason America is obese.

Overall, I think president Obama is the best president ever. And although he sports the lowest approval rating of all time, I hear that now days if nobody likes you, it means you are doing it right. Chive on, brother.