Wresting back in 2020 Olympics, NASCAR still out
As I'm sure all of you are aware, wrestling is back in the Olympics (1). However, the favorite pastime of both America and the other part of the world (Historians call it "Not America") is still not an official Olympic event. I've heard some people say that the Olympic games are abut things like sportsmanship and taking the human body to its limit, but my television screen has convinced me that it is actually about advertising. To this end, NASCAR is the perfect Olympic event, as it is the most watched sport in America, and I'm sure it is popular in Not America as well. It is also a huge advertising opportunity that wrestling simply cannot hope to match (at least until the committee finally reads my letters and forces competitors to wear coca cola brand singlets). In addition, this accredited source suggests that sales of the feminine product Vagisil are actually directly related to NASCAR viewership (2). Finally, the astute observer may notice that while the games have a large following in the Stadium and in living rooms across the world, they lack a profitable tailgating community, something NASCAR is known for. Beer sales alone would be astronomical. Now, I'm not saying they should cut wrestling to get NASCAR in, unless the only other choice is Speedwalking, in which case definitely do it.

1. http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/olympics/2013/09/08/olympic-wrestling-wins-ioc-vote-2020/2781887/
2. http://www.southparkstudios.com/full-episodes/s14e08-poor-and-stupid