Kid Not Getting In Strange Van For Anything Less Than King-Size Bar

In “Kid Not Getting In Strange Van For Anything Less Than King-Size Bar” posted by The Onion a child named Andrew Barns stated that he would not get into a strangers dirty, tinted, creepy van for anything less than a king sized candy bar. In this clearly factitious story Andrew argues that the obvious risk verse rewards is clearly not there for anything less than a king sized candy, a normal candy bar or Reese’s peanut butter cup would simply not due. Andrew is using sound logic regardless of the consequences in the mind of a 7-year-old child. He stated that any offer of getting into a van without it being a large candy would be immediately rejected on site and on principle. Throughout the article Andrew argues that getting into a strangers van must be made worth his while. This completely fake article really made me laugh because a child was supposedly using misguided logic and a sound argument in his mind of cost verse reward of candy and possible abduction. I really hope there are not any children out there running around the streets with this logic. The article wraps up saying that at press time Andrew was currently waiting for the man to return from a local store with a suitable alluring confection. This is also disconcerting, due to my feelings that no reporter in the world would let a child wait to be adducted. However, this article was written for pure entertainment, yet it makes me wonder. 

Source:

 http://www.theonion.com/articles/kid-not-getting-in-strange-van-for-anything-less-t,34084/?ref=auto