Thursday, November 14, 2013

flame off


Debate about being a single parent 
The lady in the video discloses some benefits of being a single parent, which are always neglected by the public. She uses her own personal experience to proof that being a single mother is not always bad or negative to the children if the home situation has lots of conflict. It could let their children stay away from their arguments or the tension of their instable relationship. Parents are able to concentrate on the children instead of spending all the time on the flight with their partners. Children could also see the a healthy and stable relationship between their separated parents rather than the conflicted two-parent relationship. She claims that a peaceful living atmosphere and harmonious home situation provided to the children is the main factor to bring a pleasure childhood to kids but not the types of family. It is what the public omitted and misunderstood. By telling her personal experience, she wants to make her argument more creditable and trustable so that the audiences can support her ideas and reduce the biases towards being a single parent.

Comment:
 
1. However, according to some experts’ surveys, children raised up in single-parent families are more likely to have the lower educational attainment than that of those in both biological parents family. Due to the financial problem, many single parents are complicated to have abundant resources for supporting their kids in their academia. Also, engaging themselves in many part time jobs for maintaining their livelihoods, they get less time to supervise the children’s schoolwork. Many scholars point out that children from single-parenthood are more likely to drop out of the high school, less likely attending the college or graduating from college than that of those from both-parenthood. More worse, many girls from single-parent family, due to their poor sexual knowledge, take sexually active and become the never-married mothers at their younger age. A new generation from single-parent family shows up in the society. Then, such negative phenomena become a destructive cycle in the society.
 

2. @ angie babie :

Only black women rationalize the breaking up a home to be a "single parent", how about exercising the choice to not pro create with worthless men! Make that choice for once. Out of most my friends, I am the only one to choose not to put myself in a situation to have to parent alone. Get educated and real, my black women!

I see there is a comment specifically points out this is some black women’s problems. They got into such single mother situation since they are under educated. Let’s get to the point here, how many of you really think people falling in love with others or not is matter of how much education they have? You may argue that getting educated would prevent you from falling in love with a certain type of people easily. But this single motherhood is not just problems caused by “worthless men”. a rich, well-educated couple could have this problem too. Maybe because they just don’t love each other. I agree that man/woman should brighten your eyes when choosing a partner. But just don’t bother to say of others with such problem is because they did not have a few A’s in classes.


3. @ vredd 14 :

I think the choice is totally up to the parents. But- I think about it like this: do you want your son or daughter to grow up like this person. Do you want this man to be your son's role model? Do you want your daughter to grow up and find a man like the one you chose? As parents we set the stage for our kids..some model exactly what they see in the home (good or bad). Some do their own thing regardless. Parents should not say for the kids. Its not. They're happy if you are.

I notice that there is a friendly comment about you should maybe your choice base on what influence (good or bad). Your partner would potentially provide to your children. I can completely agree on this point, if your value is driven from your kids. But my point here is, do not rush to your decision on breaking up base on some CURRENT negative factors you are facing, in addition to the consideration above. My dad used to be a perfect husband and father when I was a little kid. But then due to some business and family issues, he changed dramatically to someone really negative – hating the world. Ignoring the duty of the family, fighting with my mom all days, etc. my mother seriously considered of breaking up with him and raising my up by herself. But she didn’t do it right away but gave him a change in time of a few years. Then my dad slowly rebuilt his faith on living and now he is a fine man. Being his kid, I indeed influenced negatively by his weakness over those years, but I also learned a lot of good things from his positive side too. I believe that any man or woman has something good in him/her that no one else has. So try not to rush to the finale decision if he or she is experiencing some negative factors right now. Look at the person, is he/she really doing what he/she usually doing, or just undergoing some downside of life?


4. I also consider that single parenthood could still bring up the positive effect to the children. Many experts claim that the contribution of the children raised by the single parent are not easily down played. Those children’s the authentic need for assistance would be recognized, then thus their work and achievement in the future will make them proud. They would be much more independent and mature than those normal both parenthood family.

5. I absolutely agree what you mentioned while the marriage between parents is healthy and positive, child will probably have a pleasant childhood, vice verse. As a result, becoming a single parent family from a both-parents family is not always bad if the home situation has lots of conflict. It provides the way for children to ease their anxiety once their parents separate and the conflicts stop. Parent, meanwhile, is no long spending time on the fights or argument, he/ she is able to concentrate on the children. For children, they would get a chance to see a good relationship between their separated parents instead of the conflicted two-parent relationship.

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