A Modest Proposa - Keeping Higher Education Out of Reach

Dear Secretary Of Education Duncan:                                              November 21, 2013

                I am writing to you today with a plea that I know will hit close to home for you as a true American educational elitist. As a man who breathed the rarefied air of Harvard University, you also know better than most what a danger the status-seeking working proletariat poses to our blue-blooded Bourgeoisie life style. Your custom-made navy blue suits and bright red power neckties are the mark of a true aristocrat and I can tell by your recent verbal assault on whiney American soccer-moms and their pathetic plea to hold on to their meager education subsidies for their special needs children: that you know what is really important in America. What is important is maintaining the status quo, and keeping women, minorities, and yuppies away from the best America has to offer. After all, we know that the best educations, the best jobs, and the memberships in the top country clubs around the U. S. of A, belong to people like you and I. What would become of this great country if every poor schmuck with a Harley Davidson t-shirt addiction, a Walmart credit card and an affinity for Big Macs could actually presume to achieve post-secondary educational success? What would happen to the land of Wall Street and Brooks Brothers if everyone could afford to drive a BMW?! Well, I am sure that you agree that the connotations are too horrific to even ponder. We simply cannot have it. No we must take a stand and we are depending on you Mr. Duncan and your delicious disregard for all things common to send a message and do it now. We beseech you Mr. Secretary to do the right thing and be true to your ivory-tower roots. Help us keep “Class,” in the American collegiate classroom, and keep post-secondary educational options out of the hands of the working class. We both know that this  is for their own good and even more – the good of our America.

                                Sincerely,

                                Michele Malone (Dobin)

                                Chairwoman – KHEOOR (Keeping Higher Education Out of Reach)